So I went home last weekend, as I do every year, for mom’s belated Mother’s Day/ early Birthday weekend to once again buy and spend half a day planting hundreds of dollars worth of flowers that will be dead in 3-4 months. (chicks are weird)

And, as luck would have it, I get a text messaage from a friend…

“Wantd 2 invite u 2 cast & crew party 2nite with Johnny Depp & Christian Bale…”

Why does shit like that happen whenever I leave town?